Tuning out -- instead of tuning in -- to what your mate is saying. When you mind begins to wander, stop and remember that what your partner is saying is important to him or her.

Forgetting to thank your mate. Not thanking your spouse for being considerate, thoughtful or kind makes him or her feel unappreciated and foolish for caring about you.

Getting defensive instead of saying, "I'm sorry." When you mess up, the sooner you sincerely say, "I'm sorry," the sooner your mate can stop resenting you.

Always saying, "I'm sorry," yet never changing. An apology buys you another chance. However, if you keep making the same mistake, apologies not only seem empty, but annoying as well.

Being repeatedly late. Frequently keeping your partner waiting is not only inconsiderate, it's arrogant.

Playing the victim. This behavior not only accuses your spouse of hurting you, but adds insult to injury by implying that he or she is doing it intentionally, when that may not be the case.

Jumping to conclusions. Presuming that you know what your partner feels -- and why -- without first getting all the facts is only going to push him or her away.

Badmouthing your spouse behind his or her back. This not only adds to the list of secrets you keep from your mate, but also tells others how little you respect your partner.